My Top 3 Favorite Actors Ever

I have a huge ass DVD collection. I've probably spent thousands of dollars on it, because I believe that movie producers and actors should get proper compensation for their labor. SAY NO TO PIRATING!

The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory, so I'm just going to dive in:

3.) Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey is an amazing actor. I can't even think of an adjective appropriate enough to describe what a great actor he is. He does comedy and drama perfectly. I also had read a story that before he got famous, him and his family lived in their car, because they were really poor. Jim was determined to become famous and wrote his dad a check for $1 million dollars and told him he would one day be able to cash it. That's so touching.

Here are his best and most popular works:

1. In Living Color (1990-2001)
2. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
3. The Mask (1994)
4. Dumb & Dumber (1994)
5. Batman Forever (1995)
6. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
7. The Cable Guy (1996)
8. Liar Liar (1997)
9. The Truman Show (1998)
10. Simon Birch (1998)
11. Man on the Moon (1999)
12. Me, Myself & Irene (2000)
13. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
14. The Majestic (2001)
15. Bruce Almighty (2003)
16. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
17. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
18. Fun With Dick & Jane (2005)
19. The Number 23 (2007)
20. Horton Hears A Who! (2008)
21. Yes Man (2008)
22. I Love You Phillip Morris (2009)
23. A Christmas Carol (2009)
24. Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011)

That's a whole fuckload of popular movies. It's practically a list of his entire career. Dumb & Dumber was totally LOL good. I've watched it thousands of times, and each time I discover another really dumb thing they do. I read a story that when he was preparing for The Number 23, he listened to that beep sound that comes on TV when the channel freezes and that rainbow colored thing comes on the screen, and I think he may have even stopped eating just to drive himself crazy. It definitely worked, because I actually really liked The Number 23, despite the terrible reviews it got. Maybe it's because I just love Jim Carrey, and I think he can never do anything wrong. I don't think I need to touch upon Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, because it's in the top 100 best movies on IMDb.com. And in I Love You Phillip Morris he played an unbelievably flamboyant con-man and kisses Ewan McGregor. For an actor to play a homosexual in a comedy movie and know he's not going to get an Oscar for it really shows how dedicated to his craft he is. Also, it has been announced that there will be a sequel to Dumb & Dumber called Dumb & Dumber To that will come out in 2014. I'm very excited for it, but I'm sad I have to wait two years. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd didn't exactly fill my hunger for a Dumb & Dumber sequel.

2.) Seth Rogen

He's not THE BEST actor I guess, but I've loved him in every movie I've seen him in, and you have to admit, he's successful in all his roles, despite them all being the same character. Actually, I don't think he's really acting; he's playing himself but is just told what to say. But he's still good! And he's not just an actor. He writes and produces, too.

Here are his best and most popular works:

1. Freaks and Geeks (1999-2000)
2. Donnie Darko (2001)
3. Undeclared (2001-2003)
4. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
5. The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
6. You, Me & Dupree (2006)
7. Knocked Up (2007)
8. Shrek The Third (2007)
9. Superbad (2007)
10. The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)
11. Horton Hears A Who! (2008)
12. Kung Fu Panda (2008)
13. Stepbrothers (2008)
14. Pineapple Express (2008)
15. Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
16. Observe and Report (2009)
17. Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)
18. Funny People (2009)
19. The Green Hornet (2011)
20. Paul (2011)
21. Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)
22. 50/50 (2011)

I'm sure there are a couple movies you didn't know he was in. Not all of these movies were that funny, but they did become popular just because Seth Rogen was in them. My absolute favorites are The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express, and 50/50. I love the movie Stepbrothers, but his part was like 3 minutes long, so I don't know if I can count that as one of his best works. Also, if you've read earlier posts of mine, you would know that I am DYING to see For A Good Time, Call..., which Seth Rogen is also in. And I LOVED 50/50. I cried like a baby, mucus and saliva dripping out of every hole in my face and everything.

1.) Jason Bateman

Okay, seriously, I LOVE Jason Bateman. I am IN LOVE with him. I want to wash his feet for him in a basin, and if he wanted me to, I would drink the water afterwards. That's how much I love him. One time, I had a dream that I married him, but it was very old school Muslim in that we had only met each other once, and his mother really wanted me to marry him. He was married and divorced with two kids, and basically he needed a wife immediately to take care of him and his children, so his mother picked me, and even though he was resistant, he married me anyway. The first time I met him was a group outing, and we barely spoke to each other. We didn't consummate the marriage the night of our wedding, but after a couple days, I guess he got used to me, and said something like, "The first night we met and you left to go home, I didn't want you to go. I missed you." That's fucking sweet, but I guess I shouldn't give him the credit, because it was really MY subconscious that thought of that.

Here are his best and most popular works:

1. Little House on the Prairie (1981-1982)
2. Silver Spoons (1982-1984)
3. Valerie (1986-1991)
4. The Sweetest Thing (2002)
5. Starsky & Hutch (2004)
6. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
7. Arrested Development (2003-2006)
8. The Break-Up (2006)
9. Smokin' Aces (2006)
10. The Ex (2006)
11. Juno (2007)
12. Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)
13. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
14. Hancock (2008)
15. Up In The Air (2009)
16. The Invention of Lying (2009)
17. Couples Retreat (2009)
18. The Switch (2010)
19. Paul (2011)
20. Horrible Bosses (2011)
21. The Change-Up (2011)

I remember watching Valerie when I was a kid and even then, I was in love with Jason Bateman. Clearly, my taste in men hasn't changed. I like them much older. Also, my all-time favorite show was Arrested Development, which was way too short-lived. The Real World is on its 27th season, and Arrested Development was only on for like 2 1/2 seasons, which is so unfair and shows that there is no justice in the world. Also, my all-time favorite movie is Horrible Bosses. One time I watched it twice a day for a week straight. I love his quote, "I don't have sleeve gloves." Genius.

Well, there you go. My top 3 favorite actors. I'm sure a lot of people would disagree with my choices, but it's MY list, and I can put whoever I want on it!

Miley Cyrus Is a Swedish Teenage Boy Now

...and her engagement will be called off in 3, 2, 1...

I don't know what possessed Miley Cyrus to hack off all of her hair, but if it's alcohol and/or drugs, she needs to check herself into rehab immediately. I guess it's not her fault she's a mess, though. I mean, her birth name is Destiny Hope Cyrus; anyone with that redneck trailer trash name is embedded with issues since birth.

I don't hate short hair on girls, but this is just a bad haircut. It looks like she wore a lawnmower as a hat, and this is what happened to her hair.

Also, you guys know how I feel about eyebrows, and I just can't take hers right now. They hurt my eyes.

It's not very clear on what Miley Cyrus's profession is anymore being that she hasn't acted since Hannah Montana or released an album since 2010. So, basically she gets paid to breathe and tweet stupid shit. Kind of like these gems:

That last one really kills me. Because Billy Ray Cyrus thought that quote up all by himself, right? Because he's that original, right? Because he's philosophical enough to compare opinions to assholes (one word, Miley, not two)?

This reminds me of Lindsay Lohan. Why? Because I think of the quote from Mean Girls where she says, "I have this theory that if you cut off all her hair, she'll look like a British man."

Now, her fans are trying to defend her by saying she donated her hair to locks of love and that's why she chopped it all off. Uhhh, that's bullshit. Locks of Love doesn't accept hair that's overly dyed and bleached. Also, her hair was way too short; they accept 10 inches or more, and she definitely did not have 10 inches of hair to donate.

It's not my place to say what she can and can't do with her hair, but it's just horrendous-looking. Supercuts would have done a better job. I bet she paid like $700 for this shit haircut, too. Stupid. Just stupid.

Angelina Jolie's Engagement Ring

I adore Angelina, and Brad is pretty okay, too, but this ring is ridiculous. Apparently, Brad spent a year designing the ring with his jeweler. It's a 16-carat (which is a whole fucking lot), emerald-cut, multi-stone ring.

I have never seen something so hideous.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I prefer a ring with round diamonds. Who knows how many times I'll get engaged, but round diamonds are easier to sell back in case I ever have to do that. I don't think Brad or Angelina would ever have a problem of a jeweler not wanting to buy this ring back, but I like to think logically.

This ring cost $500,000. Now I'm not against Brad spending that much money on a ring; he earns the money, so he can spend it however he wants. But, I mean, really? She's wearing a ring equivalent to the price of a house on her finger. Not just a regular house, a villa. So unfair.

Even though Brad gave Angelina an engagement ring, they aren't actually engaged...? This ring is apparently a promise for the future. Whatever.

Harper Beckham May Just Be A Toy Doll

Harper Beckman has probably won the lottery in genetics and wardrobe, but I actually feel bad for her. She is the youngest and the only girl in her family, and the poor thing is being carried around like a purse. It's just a matter of time before they drop her like a bowling ball and the paparazzi is there to capture it.

Just look at this picture. Victoria isn't even putting in the effort of using BOTH arms. REALLY? Does she really have to have one hand in her pocket? Why does her skirt even have pockets? Does she put anything in them?

It's not just Victoria who holds Harper like this; David does it, too. Does this kid not have a stroller? I have never seen her in a stroller. She's always being carried like this. I don't understand. I'm pretty sure they can afford a stroller for their child. They've had three before her: I'm sure they have at least ONE stroller somewhere in the garage.

Also, she never has shoes. When your mother is a big-time fashion icon, one just assumes her kid would have complete ensembles on at all times. I mean, I get it; kids grow out of shoes every month, but I'm pretty sure they can afford it. Even a pair from Target. It doesn't matter. But then again they never put this kid down, so she doesn't need shoes. Okay. I shouldn't have doubted them.

Another thing that plagues me about all of the Beckham kids: What kind of accent do they have? Both of their parents have British accents, but they have basically grown up in California. Maybe they sound like Madonna.

I guess we'll see what kind of kid she is going to be when she gets her reality show that will most likely fail miserably.

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Is My Girl... Err. Whatever.

I don't care what anyone says, but Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is the best celebrity baby/child there is. Now I'm not picking her because I adore Angelina, and Shiloh is her first-born, but Shiloh kills me. She likes to dress in boys clothing, which I love because I think she totally pulls it off, and she keeps her hair short, which takes a lot of confidence to rock short hair if you don't have great shoulders and collar-bones. I read a story about how Shiloh lost her first tooth and instead of Brad and Angelina giving her money, they gave her an educational game. Then basically Shiloh was like, "This is bullshit. I want my tooth back, and I'm going to try to sell it to the highest bidder." Tell me that's not the funniest thing ever to come out of a six year old.

When it comes down to which parent Shiloh looks the most like, it's very obvious after you see this:

She is IDENTICAL to Brad. I just hope she doesn't grow up to have facial hair like him.

The Best Quote Ever

I'm just going to get right to it. In my opinion, this is the best quote from a T.V. series of all time:

"Hello. I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker." - Kurt Hummel (played by Chris Colfer) from Glee

I think this is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard. Because if you know Kurt Hummel and what he's about, you'll totally understand why he said this the way he did. And I love a flamboyant gay. They can say, "This cheese is moldy," and I will piss myself from laughter.

Glee is a great show; however, I think the writing has gone downhill. The first half of the first season was absolute perfection, but now I just kind of watch it because, A.) Everyone else is watching it, and B.) I want to know if Rachel and Finn end up together. Not that I want them together, though. I like Rachel when she is single, and I like Finn when he is single. I just don't feel their "love" for one another. I see no substance in their relationship.

Here are a few more quotes by Kurt Hummel:

They're going to throw fruit at us, and I JUST had a facial.

My body is like a rum chocolate souffle. If I don't warm it up right, it won't rise.

I don't know why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he's cheating off of a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows.

I'm so depressed. I've worn the same outfit twice this week.

He's on Team Gay. No straight boy dyes his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993.

Why are you being so weird and serious? Our periods don't come until the end of the month.

The Chick-fil-A Controversy

The hot topic lately is how Dan Cathy, the president of Chick-fil-A, is against same-sex marriage. So now everyone wants to boycott and stop eating from Chick-fil-A and just have it shut down.

Here is my personal opinion: this is all bullshit. I am a supporter of same-sex marriage, don't get me wrong. But just like how I am entitled to my own opinion about the matter, so is Cathy.

Everything was just fine and dandy when you guys didn't know his views on same-sex marriage. You guys were inhaling those chicken sandwiches. What happened now? Just because Cathy thinks same-sex marriage should be illegal doesn't mean it will be. He's the president of Chick-fil-A, not the United States! Who gives a shit what he thinks?

On another note, Cathy's company employs thousands of people. If everyone stops eating there because of one man's OPINION, what's going to happen to all of those innocent employees? They should not be punished for something someone else thinks.

Eat wherever the fuck you want. I don't care, but just think about things more logically.

I Can't Wait To Watch "For A Good Time, Call..."

I am absolutely ecstatic to see this movie, mostly because I love love love Ari Graynor, and I want to have her babies. She is a great actress, and she also looks a lot like Ke$ha, and I love anyone with a dollar sign in their name. So it only makes sense that I like Ari Graynor.

According to IMBd.com, "For A Good Time, Call..." is about 'former college frenemies Lauren and Katie [who] move into a fabulous Gramercy Park apartment, and in order to make ends meet, the unlikely pair start a phone sex line together.'

How could this movie NOT be good? It's fucking Ari Graynor! I'm so happy to finally see her in a lead role in a movie. She so deserves it. I'm also thinking this movie is going to be the female version of "Superbad."

Now, if you're a complete moron and you don't know who Ari Graynor is, I'm going to tell you. And I'm sure once I tell you, you're going to be like, "Ooohhhhh... that chick!"

Caroline from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Marisa from The Sitter

Rachel / Keslie on Fringe

I've spent too much time sharing my love for Ari Graynor. There actually are other great actors in this movie, too.

Seth Rogen (Superbad, Kocked Up, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Pineapple Express, 50/50)

Justin Long (Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Accepted, He's Just Not That Into You)

Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

Lauren Miller (She's married to Seth Rogen. Who cares what movies she's been in?)

The movie is going to be released on August 31, 2012. You have about a month to cancel your plans for that day. If you're still not convinced on paying money to see this movie in theaters when you can just watch it online for free, check out the trailor:

Books You Should Read Before You Die

I'm assuming you guys know how to read. Therefore, I'm going to tell you what it is you should be reading exactly.

I'm very ashamed to admit that I have all of the Twilight books, and I have read them all. And it's very obvious that the author never took any writing classes, because the writing is atrocious. I'm also ashamed to admit that I bought all of the Fifty Shades books; however, I only got halfway through the first one before realizing it is the worst piece of literature ever, and it makes more sense to just watch porn. I'm the most ashamed of the fact that I own all of Snooki's books. I haven't opened a single one, never even read the back of the cover, but there was some sort of force that took over my mind when I was at Target one day and saw it for $11 and thought, "What a great deal for a book. I can't pass that up."

I am not proud whatsoever of 75% of the books in my collection, but I just couldn't help it. The literature gods just aren't on my side when I go book shopping, and yes, I spend a whole afternoon once a month just to shop for books. I even go on barnesandnoble.com and just search for books that I'll probably like. Then, I'll make a list that I keep in my wallet, because you never know when you'll come across a great deal.

My suggestion is to check several other places before going to Barnes and Noble, like K-mart, Wal-mart, and Target. Actually, you will most likely find the book you want at Target for about $3-$7 cheaper, because Target is just fucking awesome.

I'm not big on the Kindle or the Nook or whatever else gadget they have for reading. I prefer my books in paper form, and I like to display my collection where everyone can see what bad taste I have in books. I'm not exactly sure why.

So here are my favorite books that I think everyone should read:

White Girl Problems by Babe Walker

I absolutely love this bitch. She is a rich, spoiled, anorexic narcissist who hits rock-bottom when she spends an exceptional amount of money at Barney's and checks herself into rehab. However, I can't decide on whether she is a real celebutante who just goes by the alias Babe Walker to disguise her identity and writes about her real life, or if she is a totally made-up fictitious person, which I refuse to believe.

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by Chelsea Handler,

Chelsea Handler's Family Friends and Other Victims

If you don't live under a rock, I'm sure you've at least heard the name Chelsea Handler. She has her own late-night talk show on E! That's the channel that actually should be called The Kardashians plus some E! Entertainment. She has three other books that she has written herself: My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. This book is a compilation of stories written by her family and closest friends about... well, lies that she told them.

Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern

This book is hilarious, and I wish this guy was my dad. Justin Halpern's dad has a very intelligent sense of humor and is just so likable. Shit My Dad Says became very popular on Twitter (You can follow him here: @shitmydadsays) and was even made into a show starring Will Shatner as the dad. It was an absolute joke and really sucked and was cancelled halfway through the first season, but I can appreciate the attempt.

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max

Tucker Max is a complete douchebag... but he's funny, so give it a shot.

Sloppy Firsts (Jessica Darling Series #1) by Megan McCafferty

The first out of FIVE Jessica Darling books, Sloppy Firsts captures teen angst perfectly. Also, Megan McCafferty is from New Jersey like me, and I got to meet her, and she signed my Sloppy Firsts book, so I adore her. You can read all five books, but definitely read the first one... and the second one... and the third one, for sure.

MTV Video Music Awards 2012 Nominees

I haven't watched the VMAs since the 90s probably because MTV has just gone downhill in their television programming since then. The only good show they have had in the past five years is Jersey Shore, and that's not saying much. Also, ever since they came out with cars where you can plug in your Ipod, I've stopped listening to the radio. I also really hate mainstream music. I'm not trying to sound indie or scene or anything, but I just don't like whatever is popular in the US. I refuse to admit that I am an American, so I prefer anything European, including music. But I guess the VMAs aren't really about the music; it's about all the crazy shit the celebrities try to do like dancing with a snake, making out with Madonna, getting really drunk and going on stage... Okay, so the show is really about Britney Spears and her crazy antics.

Here is a list of all the nominees. In bold are the videos that I think should win.


Best Pop Video
fun. featuring Janelle Monae - We Are Young
Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
Maroon 5 featuring Wiz Khalifa - Payphone
One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
Rihanna - We Found Love

Justin Bieber is a twat. When I first heard the Maroon 5 song, I thought it was Akon singing. I heard that One Direction song and I started developing ear cancer. And I fucking hate Rihanna now that I know she's an alcoholic and makes really bad relationship decisions... So, process of elimination.

Best Rock Video
The Black Keys - Lonely Boy
Coldplay - Paradise
Imagine Dragons - It's Time
Jack White - Sixteen Saltines
Linkin Park - Burn It Down

I haven't heard the song, let alone watched the video, but Coldplay is from the UK, so that makes them okay in my book.

Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino - Heartbeat
Drake featuring Lil Wayne - HYFR
Kanye West featuring Pusha T, Big Sean, and 2 Chainz
Nicki Minaj featuring 2 Chainz - Beez In the Trap
The Throne - Paris

As you can see, I have not bolded anything because a fuck is not being given by me about this category.

Best New Artist
Carly Rae Jepson - Call Me Maybe
Frank Ocean - Swim Good
fun. featuring Janelle Monae - We Are Young
One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful
The Wanted - Glad You Came

I've actually heard this song, and I think it's fun. So, sure, take the moonman and put it on your mantle.

Best Female Video
Beyonce - Love On Top
Katy Perry - Part of Me
Nicki Minaj - Starships
Rihanna - We Found Love
Selena Gomez & The Scene - I Love You Like a Love Song

I think Selena Gomez is made up entirely of lollipops and rainbows. Anyone that sweet deserves SOMETHING at least.

Best Male Video
Chris Brown - Turn Up The Music
Drake featuring Rihanna - Take Care
Frank Ocean - Swim Good
Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
Usher - Climax

Again. I don't care.

Best Electronic Dance Music Video
Avicii - Le7els
Calvin Harris - Feels So Close
Duck Sauce - Big Bad Wolf
Martin Solveig - The Night Out
Skrillex - First Of The Year (Equinox)

I think Calvin Harris has been doing music the longest, so he should get an award already.

Best Video With a Message
Demi Lovato - Skyscraper
Gym Class Heroes featuring Ryan Tedder - The Fighter
Kelly Clarkson - Dark Side
K'Naan featuring Nelly Furtado - Is Anybody Out There?
Lil Wayne - How To Love
Rise Against - Ballad of Hollis Brown

This has to be the stupidest category ever, but I guess it's okay since Kelly Clarkson is nominated. I love how she can go from skinny to fat and back to skinny again at the snap of a finger.

Video Of The Year
Drake featuring Rihanna - Take Care
Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know
Katy Perry - Wide Awake
M.I.A. - Bad Girls
Rihanna - We Found Love

I love Gotye and I love the video for this song. That is all. I have nothing clever to say.

Best Art Direction
Drake featuring Rihanna - Take Care
Katy Perry - Wide Awake
Lana Del Ray - Born To Die
Of Monsters & Men - Little Talks
Regina Spektor - All The Rowboats

Lana is probably the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Okay, she's in my top 10 of the most beautiful people I've ever seen.

Best Choreography
Avicii - Le7els
Beyonce - Countdown
Chris Brown - Turn Up the Music
Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull - Dance Again
Rihanna - Where Have You Been

I know, I know. Chris Brown is a woman beater, but the category is best choreography and Chris Brown can dance. The winner is clear.

Best Cinematography
Adele - Someone Like You
Coldplay featuring Rihanna - Princess of China
Drake featuring Rihanna - Take Care
Lana Del Ray - Born To Die
M.I.A. - Bad Girls

Ummmm. LANA. Duhhhh.

Best Direction
Coldplay featuring Rihanna - Princess of China
Duck Sauce - Big Bad Wolf
Frank Ocean - Swim Good
M.I.A. - Bad Girls
The Throne - Otis

She's British. What do you want from me?

Best Editing
A$AP Rocky - Goldie
Beyonce - Cowntdown
Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know
Kanye West featuring Pusha T, Big Sean, and 2 Chainz - Mercy
The Throne - Paris

This is a stupid fucking category, but I guess they need a time filler.

Best Visual Effects
David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj - Turn Me On
Katy Perry - Wide Awake
Linkin Park - Burn It Down
Rihanna - Where Have You Been
Skrillex - First Of The Year (Equinox)

They all suck my asshole. I refuse to pick.


I guess I'll wish luck to all of the nominees. I won't be watching, but if Britney Spears does something crazy, let me know. The VMAs will be live on Thursday, September 6th. Tune in if you care about this shit.

'Skins' Is The Best Show Ever

"Skins" is a British teen comedy/drama. I'm not going to be able to say anything else besides that it's fucking awesome. The music is great, the writing is great, the acting is great... everything is just great about this show. It's just real and believable.

"Skins" follows the lives of a group of teenagers from Bristol, England while tackling controversial issues such as dysfunctional families, mental illness, promiscuity, substance abuse, and death.

In 2011, MTV attempted to create a North American adaptation, but was canceled after one season due to low ratings and significant controversy over the depiction of adolescent sexuality. Also, it was a disaster.

So far, "Skins" has had 6 seasons, where there have been 3 generations of characters.

1st Generation

Tony - An attractive, intelligent, and popular boy whose manipulative ways go unnoticed by his friends.

Sid - Tony's best friend who is awkward and socially uneasy.

Michelle - Tony's girlfriend who appears to be vain and shallow, but is actually very emotionally mature for her age.

Cassie - Michelle's friend who attempts to hide her eating disorder by being bubbly and eccentric.

Chris - The party animal of the group who comes from a difficult family background.

Jal - Michelle's sensible best friend who has a talent for the clarinet.

Maxxie - An openly gay dancer who is accepted by his peers.

Anwar - Maxxie's Muslim best friend who has no qualms about indulging in pre-marital sex, drugs, and alcohol.

2nd Generation

Effy - Tony's younger sister who is popular, pretty, and a natural leader like her brother, but is also quiet and distant.

Pandora - Effy's innocent and naive best friend who is ready to explore the sexual and narcotic world in which Effy indulges.

Thomas - An immigrant from the Congo with a morally upright outlook and good-hearted nature.

Cook - A charismatic, yet boisterous trouble-maker.

Freddie - Cook's childhood best friend who is an easy-going skater.

JJ - Cook's and Freddie's other childhood best friend whose autism makes it difficult for him to socialize.

Katie & Emily - Identical twins who have absolutely nothing in common. Katie is desperate to knock Effy off of her thrown and become the "queen bee." Emily, who is used to being in her sister's shadow, is just now coming to terms with her homosexuality.

Naomi - Emily's love interest who is a politically charged and passionate young woman.

3rd Generation

Franky - An intelligent and creative outsider with an androgynous look who has just moved to Bristol.

Alo - A positive boy who lives on a farm.

Rich - Alo's best friend who immerses himself in heavy metal music to hide his shyness around girls.

Mini - A self-conscious self-proclaimed "queen bee" who is cruel to Franky and others.

Liv - Mini's most loyal sidekick who is sexually promiscuous.

Grace - Mini and Liv's best friend who is sweet, kind, and has a positive outlook on life.

Nick - Mini's popular rugby-playing boyfriend whose feelings for her are shallow and uncomplicated.

Matty - Nick's brother who has a strained relationship with their father and engages in criminal behavior.

If you've never watched "Skins," and you're interested, check out sidereel.com and search for Skins (NOT the US version) and you can watch it on Hulu.

When Eyebrows Go Bad

I don't know how to stress enough how important a good eyebrow is. Eyebrows are what determine whether your face is good-looking or not. You can have the most beautiful face in the world, but if you have bad eyebrows, you will be considered "just okay," and you don't want to be "just okay," do you?

I have NEVER had my eyebrows waxed. NEVER. And you should NEVER get your eyebrows waxed, either! Getting your eyebrows waxed is the worst idea ever. When applying the wax to your eyebrow, one slip and your eyebrows are shit. DO NOT take this chance. Get your eyebrows threaded by a professional once every two weeks. In between this amount of time, you can pluck, but be careful. Don't mess around with it so much!

Actually, I don't believe in giving your eyebrow an actual shape. I believe in going with your natural brow and keeping them as thick as possible. I don't care if it looks like you have two caterpillars on your face, just keep them groomed.

Here are some examples of bad, actually despicable, eyebrows:

The Unibrow

Madonna's daughter, Lourdes Leon got very lucky in life just in general but not so lucky in the eyebrow department. And it's not just the eyebrows, poor thing has a 'stache, too! I'm not going to insult her because she IS going through puberty in this picture, but when a girl gets to the appropriate age for eyebrow grooming (I personally say 15), a unibrow and mustache is easy to fix. A nice thread to the uni and lip and a nice trim of the brows, and she is good to go. 

The Boomerang

As if the shape of the eyebrow looking like a fucking boomerang wasn't enough, the boomerang eyebrow can look like it's in the middle of your forehead. Even though Tyra Banks is known for her five-finger forehead, the boomerang eyebrows do not make it look any smaller. If you have boomerang eyebrows, grow those puppies fully out and go with the natural shape. I beg of you.

The Chola

Do not do this to yourself. I have never seen a single person actually pull this off. Do not sharpie in your eyebrows: logically, you won't even be able to get the same shape every time you draw them on, so what's the point? Do not shave off your eyebrows off, please. When you don't have eyebrows, don't your eyelids get cold? I'm just not understanding, and I'm really trying to look at this from a logical standpoint.

The Hockey Stick

NO. JUST NO.

The Non-Matching Eyebrow

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why this looks bad because you guys do have eyes and can SEE that it looks atrocious, but you should know that the color of your eyebrows should be one shade lighter than the darkest shade in your hair.

Please, girls. Let's not make these mistakes. And for any guys reading this, my advice to you is DO NOT touch your eyebrows EVER. If you have a unibrow, I guess you can take care of that, but if you are confident enough and carry yourself well, you can make a unibrow look sexy.

Top 7 Celebrity Look-Alikes

There are lots of celebrities who look so much alike, it's creepy. Now I could say they are "separated at birth" and what not, but really? What are the odds of a pair of separated twins both becoming famous? I mean, that would be some very strong and powerful DNA. Here are the top 7 celebrity look-alikes:

7.) Alan Cumming & Paul Reubens

I'm not sure who Alan Cumming is or if he's an actor or a singer or whatever his profession may be, but I can always learn to love anyone whose last name is Cumming. As for Paul Reubens, he's always been creepy. Just look at that picture.

6.) Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie

Okay, hear me out on this one. If you look at the pictures very closely, they do have very similar features. It's just I'm pretty sure that Paris Hilton has been getting plastic surgery TO look like Nicole Richie, and Nicole Richie has been getting plastic surgery TO NOT look like Paris Hilton.

5.) Chuck Norris & Tim Allen

Actually, I'm terrified to even make this comparison because Chuck Norris may come and round-house kick me in the face, so I'll stop here.

4.) Bette Midler & Joy Behar

The only difference I see between these two women is that Bette Midler's nose is just a smidgen longer than Joy Behar's. Which could just mean that Joy Behar got a nose job, and they actually are twins.

3.) Nick Nolte & Gary Busey

APPARENTLY these are two separate people. I just always assumed Gary Busey is what Nick Nolte looked like drunk and/or on drugs.

2.) Zooey Deschanel & every hipster chick in the world

Zooey Deschanel looks like almost every female celebrity with dark hair, bangs, and blue eyes. But the celebrity she looks most like is definitely Katy Perry. Maybe Zooey Deschanel would even fill in for Katy Perry on the nights where Katy Perry had to have sex with Russell Brand.

1.) Leonardo DiCaprio & Emile Hirsch

If you disagree with me on this one, you need to get your eyes checked out because these two are fucking identical. Leo is a legend; the man can't pick a bad movie to act in even if he tried. And Emile Hirsch has been a great substitute for the movies Leo refused to do.