When Eyebrows Go Bad

I don't know how to stress enough how important a good eyebrow is. Eyebrows are what determine whether your face is good-looking or not. You can have the most beautiful face in the world, but if you have bad eyebrows, you will be considered "just okay," and you don't want to be "just okay," do you?

I have NEVER had my eyebrows waxed. NEVER. And you should NEVER get your eyebrows waxed, either! Getting your eyebrows waxed is the worst idea ever. When applying the wax to your eyebrow, one slip and your eyebrows are shit. DO NOT take this chance. Get your eyebrows threaded by a professional once every two weeks. In between this amount of time, you can pluck, but be careful. Don't mess around with it so much!

Actually, I don't believe in giving your eyebrow an actual shape. I believe in going with your natural brow and keeping them as thick as possible. I don't care if it looks like you have two caterpillars on your face, just keep them groomed.

Here are some examples of bad, actually despicable, eyebrows:

The Unibrow

Madonna's daughter, Lourdes Leon got very lucky in life just in general but not so lucky in the eyebrow department. And it's not just the eyebrows, poor thing has a 'stache, too! I'm not going to insult her because she IS going through puberty in this picture, but when a girl gets to the appropriate age for eyebrow grooming (I personally say 15), a unibrow and mustache is easy to fix. A nice thread to the uni and lip and a nice trim of the brows, and she is good to go. 

The Boomerang

As if the shape of the eyebrow looking like a fucking boomerang wasn't enough, the boomerang eyebrow can look like it's in the middle of your forehead. Even though Tyra Banks is known for her five-finger forehead, the boomerang eyebrows do not make it look any smaller. If you have boomerang eyebrows, grow those puppies fully out and go with the natural shape. I beg of you.

The Chola

Do not do this to yourself. I have never seen a single person actually pull this off. Do not sharpie in your eyebrows: logically, you won't even be able to get the same shape every time you draw them on, so what's the point? Do not shave off your eyebrows off, please. When you don't have eyebrows, don't your eyelids get cold? I'm just not understanding, and I'm really trying to look at this from a logical standpoint.

The Hockey Stick

NO. JUST NO.

The Non-Matching Eyebrow

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why this looks bad because you guys do have eyes and can SEE that it looks atrocious, but you should know that the color of your eyebrows should be one shade lighter than the darkest shade in your hair.

Please, girls. Let's not make these mistakes. And for any guys reading this, my advice to you is DO NOT touch your eyebrows EVER. If you have a unibrow, I guess you can take care of that, but if you are confident enough and carry yourself well, you can make a unibrow look sexy.

Top 7 Celebrity Look-Alikes

There are lots of celebrities who look so much alike, it's creepy. Now I could say they are "separated at birth" and what not, but really? What are the odds of a pair of separated twins both becoming famous? I mean, that would be some very strong and powerful DNA. Here are the top 7 celebrity look-alikes:

7.) Alan Cumming & Paul Reubens

I'm not sure who Alan Cumming is or if he's an actor or a singer or whatever his profession may be, but I can always learn to love anyone whose last name is Cumming. As for Paul Reubens, he's always been creepy. Just look at that picture.

6.) Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie

Okay, hear me out on this one. If you look at the pictures very closely, they do have very similar features. It's just I'm pretty sure that Paris Hilton has been getting plastic surgery TO look like Nicole Richie, and Nicole Richie has been getting plastic surgery TO NOT look like Paris Hilton.

5.) Chuck Norris & Tim Allen

Actually, I'm terrified to even make this comparison because Chuck Norris may come and round-house kick me in the face, so I'll stop here.

4.) Bette Midler & Joy Behar

The only difference I see between these two women is that Bette Midler's nose is just a smidgen longer than Joy Behar's. Which could just mean that Joy Behar got a nose job, and they actually are twins.

3.) Nick Nolte & Gary Busey

APPARENTLY these are two separate people. I just always assumed Gary Busey is what Nick Nolte looked like drunk and/or on drugs.

2.) Zooey Deschanel & every hipster chick in the world

Zooey Deschanel looks like almost every female celebrity with dark hair, bangs, and blue eyes. But the celebrity she looks most like is definitely Katy Perry. Maybe Zooey Deschanel would even fill in for Katy Perry on the nights where Katy Perry had to have sex with Russell Brand.

1.) Leonardo DiCaprio & Emile Hirsch

If you disagree with me on this one, you need to get your eyes checked out because these two are fucking identical. Leo is a legend; the man can't pick a bad movie to act in even if he tried. And Emile Hirsch has been a great substitute for the movies Leo refused to do.